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Rude medical mnemonics

The best funny, dirty and rude medical mnemonics for medical student exams, finals and OSCEs. None are strictly recommended by the Oxford Medical Education team but they do work!

 

The carpal bones: Scaphoid, Lunate, Triquetrum, Pisiform, Trapezium, Trapezoid, Capitate, Hamate

  • Some Lovers Try Positions That They Can’t Handle
  • Senior Lecturers Take Prostitutes To The Carlton Hotel

 

Order of structures entering the orbit via the superior orbital fissure

  • Luscious French tarts sitting naked in anticipation
    • Luscious = Lachrymal branch of V
    • French = Frontal branch of V
    • Tarts = Trochlear nerve (then, within the annulus of Zinn):
    • Sitting = Superior division of the oculomotor nerve
    • Naked = Nasociliary
    • In = Inferior division of the oculomotor nerve
    • Anticipation = Abducens nerve

 

Branches of the facial nerve: Temporal, Zygomatic, Buccal, Masseter, Cervical

  • Two Zulus Buggered My Cat

 

Cranial nerves: I – Olfactory, II – Optic, III – Oculomotor, IV-Trochlear, V-Trigeminal, VI-Abducens, VII-Facial, VIII-Vestibulocochlear, IX-Glossopharyngeal, X-Vagus, XI-Accessory, XII-Hypoglossal

  • Oh, Oh, Oh, To Touch A Fit Virgin’s Glossy Vagina And Hymen
  • Oh, Oh, Oh, To Touch And Feel (a) Virgin Girl’s Vagina, Ah, Heaven

 

…And to know whether cranial nerves are sensory (s) motor (m) or both (b) – (i.e. “Some” = cranial nerve I is Sensory)

  • Some Say Money Matters, But My Brother Says Big Boobs Matter More

 

Nervous input for erection: Parasympathetic activation for erection, Sympathetic activation for ejaculation

  • Point and Shoot

 

Sacral nerve input to the sphincters (S2, 3 and 4)

  • S2,3,4 keep the sh*t off the floor

 

If you know any more, please post them in the comments below or get in touch on Facebook

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